Journal Entry

I need to get re energized with my art projects.  How do you re energize when you are running on empty?   Am I just dragging because it is cloudy and gray and spring just will not come soon enough.  We keep getting these gray and windy days.  How do you feed your soul when it is hungry, but you don't know what to feed it.  I have little 20-30 minute chunks of time and I think I need a longer chunk.  I will be starting a life drawing class in May but still don't have a babysitter for that chunk.  I feel like I have to work really hard to be able to do anything, which when you have little energy to do something you don't what to use it all up before you get to the fun part.  I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me but that is OK because this is a journal entry.  Maybe I am just tired because I am just getting over being sick.  This feeling doesn't seem to be a new one.  I have felt it before.  It is maybe most comfortable to not do anything so I don't fail.  Is it failure I am afraid of?  But if you don't try you have failed even before you have done anything so that doesn't make sense.  OK positive thinking ---- I am successful at everything I do.  Yes that is right, I am successful at everything I do.  I am not doing, OH maybe I am afraid of success? That is an interesting twist now isn't it.  What positive thinking statement can I come up with for that one??????